Google Told Me So

Last week by boyfriend and I flew out to Ohio to visit my brother and spend some time with the family. Any time lately that my father and boyfriend get together they bond over picking on me and all of the crazy things that I believe in. Mostly, because to them, my beliefs are utterly nonsensical:

I don't necessarily believe in god but I do believe that you truly can jinx things....so I always knock on wood.

I believe that if I tell someone about something that I really want to have happen, it won't happen...simply because I told them.

I believe that it's bad luck to think about plane crashes while you're flying.

I believe that if I think about someone hard enough they will know I'm thinking about them...

I believe that brownies, cookies and beer do not have any calories when I'm stressed or PMSing.

I believe that my mom has always had eyes in the back of her head and is virtually psychic.

And I absolutely, 100% believe that my google horoscope is directly connected to my brain. It's the only way to explain how 95% of the time, my horoscope is right on the money. Not that I believe in horoscopes or anything...

The Gods Must Be Crazy

In Ms. Geraci's 9th Grade Social Studies class we watched the movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy". My bff, Sarah Kel and I sat through the entire movie believing, that it was, in fact, a true documentary. At the end of the movie, we had to get into our assigned study groups (two ditzes in a study group not permitted) and discuss the movie...My study group included, Bill McMahan, my boyfriend extraordinare at the time, and Mark Lion and Adam Krauser...our class brainiac's who are off somewhere today, super good looking and super successful....oh, and myself. At one point I actually turned to my group of intellectuals and said:

"Wait, so if the Bushmen are real, and they have never had any contact with someone from the outside world, how do the translators know what they're saying and what do they think of all of the camera men??"

Silence...

Sarah and I reconvened at the end of class and she too had let the cat out of the bag. We were officially labeled ditzes for the remainder of our High School careers.

Today, I made a similar blunder. I sent an article (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17704847/site/newsweek/ ) to several of my friends with the belief that while the author was obviously being sarcastic, the quotes were definitely true. And I discussed this belief in detail with Elissa (another sucker) until I received the email below from one of our far more witty and practical friends:

Sara,
This was great - Thanks for thinking of me! I was sure this was a true story until I saw the reference to "satire" up on top :) 300 captured the real side of our beloved Persians!
Hope all is well,
Etti


Damn it!

BIG....HUGE

This week is a very exciting week for me:

The University at Albany Great Danes (be very intimidated...) are the 13th seed and will be playing Virgina on Friday. At 12:45pm on Friday, I will be sporting my latest UA sweatshirt (over my suit) at the pub down the block from my office with Elissa. It's a big game for Albany ....and seeing as it is playing in the middle of the day on a weekday...it is obviously an important game for the rest of the country as well...

Yesterday we painted our living room....herbal mist...and it's glorious. We demolished the old couch and chair and painted....all in preparation for another big event this week....

The arrival of our new couch! We ordered from the Grace Collection at Crate and Barrel (in case you were wondering...) and it is beautiful...and will look glorious in our living room...especially with the herbal mist wall.

Tomorrow I'm attending my first professional hockey game. Originally I found this to be intimidating but one of my friends told me that I get to drink beer and yell at the players...much like I do at football games...so I should be okay. ....Provided I'm not the poor soul who gets hit in the face with a puck... because we all know my luck.

Speaking of luck!.....Saturday is the big day that all of America looks forward to...and the day when every American is....IRISH! It just so happens that it is also Payal's birthday... so, in honor of these momentous occassions not only occurring on the same day...but on a Saturday (!)... we have decided to start our day bright and early and do a pub crawl for as long as we can make it. Somehow....I'm not sure how exactly (probably because I was drunk when it happened)... I promised Payal that I would wear an Irish Cheerleading outfit on this day as well...if she could find it. So if anyone sees a crazy drunken cheerleader aimlessly wandering the streets on Saturday feel free to say hi!!

Vista Shmista

So Microsoft has come out with it's new and improved version of Windows XP. When I moved into my new office, I received my new laptop and with it the new (and exciting!) Vista!...

Let me tell you something about Vista... it kind of reminds me of the first pair of designer boots my roommate bought. Sure it looks great....and the packaging is fabulous...but the second you try to do any real walking in the suckers...the heal breaks....and what do they tell you when you take them back to the store?..."well they're not meant to really be walked in... you're supposed to go from your home to the cab and from the cab to the bar...no real walking..." wtf!?!?... where was that on the tag when I bought them!?

Vista works in a similar manner... as long as I just check my email or hop online every once in a while it's fine... the second I start really working and opening up documents the damn program freezes my entire system.... try to be productive with that happening... and the worst part about it is ...Microsoft is one of our clients (!)... and when I told them that my new system was being set up with Vista...what did they say?..."huh...(snort)...good luck...it kindof sucks...it crashes my computer all of the time"... great... f'n fabulous. Now everytime I see a Vista advertisement on the street, I want to rip off my shoes and throw it at the sign... take that Vista!!

All Grown Up

I recently went to Baltimore to visit my best friend from college on her birthday weekend. While sucking down beers at her b-day party and mingling with friends I had an epiphany……we are grown ups. For real! I looked around the room packed with Lawyers… those of us who were not part of the JD crowd were all professionals with a couple of exceptions… the birthday girl’s little bro and P-dids (the cradle robber)’s boyfriend… he’s in the middle of going for his Masters. Anyways…we all had jobs…real jobs… and people were talking about being engaged…planning weddings… 9 -5 crap…and I caught myself talking about my dream couch…couch!! When did this happen? When did we grow up and why didn’t I get much of a say in it!?.....
The entire realization makes me reflect on how, when I was little, I dreamt about how my life was going to be…. When you’re 8, 27 is definitely old, so I figured that I would totally have a career, two kids and a dog…the big house and a super handsome hubby….. my “adult” life in reality?.....


On January 6th I tripped over my laundry cart (a.k.a. Big Bertha) and fractured two bones in my foot. I then proceeded to attend my own birthday party, get appropriately pissed, and went to the gym the next day. It took me two weeks to realize that maybe I had injured my foot…never guessed (even when the doctor was showing me the X-rays) that it was broken.

For Valentines day, Karl and I went out to a nice dinner and I bought him a v-day card… which I then left in my desk drawer until about a week ago…. V. romantic.

I went out for two beers with p-dids after work one day… we were so exhausted from work that we got drunk off of the two beers…then I convinced her that she needed to take $20 dollars from me…even though she was heading to the ATM…my money was apparently better. Then I got in the cab and promptly passed out.

While visiting my family upstate (and consuming more alcohol than most people find natural) I convinced my boyfriend that after my parents went to sleep we should “do the deed”… after my parents went to bed…I passed the f--- out on the family room couch…Karl had to carry me to bed.

The other day I ate almost an entire bag of Reeses peanut butter cups at my desk at work… when I stood up, there was chocolate all over my pants and my chair….

Last night, my roommate and I had a girls’ night. She cooked dinner and I drank wine. After we finished one bottle of wine I sat down on the couch with a full glass of wine in my hands…then I passed out holding the glass of wine (still full). I woke up to feeling something splash all over me… it was the wine…all down the front of me…fortunately, none of it landed on the couch that we are throwing out on Sunday…just on me. I went into the bathroom and asked Sarah what I should do…
Sarah (laughing): oh my god…
Me: I spilled wine….what should I do?
Sarah: well, I would start by taking your shirt off…
Me: okay…
Then I went into my room…took my shirt off and grabbed my Treo so that I could call Karl and passed out on my bed…Treo in hand.


Yep, I’m an adult…