The jig is up

I openly admit that I have not been in a library for research purposes since April of 2002. That being said, I have never been one to be intimidated by research or libraries... I actually thoroughly enjoy both. So, when my boss requested that I go to the library on 42nd and 5th to do some research in preparation for a London meeting I was more than happy to do so....


Me (internal dialogue): crap...i haven't been here in three years...do i even remember where the library is located once i walk through the door? Why does this look like the MET? This is definitely not the MET. I am losing my mind.... Is it on the third floor? No, second, it was definitely on the second floor...
Me (to security guard): Which floor is the library on?
Security guard: 3rd floor
Me (crap): thanks

Me (internal dialogue): jesus... they didn't have the computers like this last time... wtf is Leo? Maybe I should go back to school. Does everyone here know that I'm totally confused? Probably... I probably have toilet paper stuck to my boots too.... this computer isn't working... i'll try a different one.... hmmm....this one has a nice screen saver..... ugh, this doesn't have nexis lexis either.... f this, i'm going to ask someone for help.
Me (to help desk person): do you have nexis lexis here?
HDP: no, you have to go downtown to the business library.
Me: downtown?
HDP: downtown
Me (looking very put out and confused): oh...
HDP (pulling out a peice of paper): here... it's at 188 madison avenue...near 34th street
Me: that's close!
HDP: yes
Me: thanks

Me (internal dialogue): ok, i'll just call Patty and let her know that i have to go downtown... no, that's stupid it's only 6 blocks from the office...calm down sara.... wow, i hope i don't fall down these stairs...that would really suck...oh crap, it's raining.... i'll just go to duane reade to buy an umbrella....who organized this store? probably the same guy who set up the wegmans parking lot in webster....i wonder if this is some fucked up IQ test.."let's see how long it takes this idiot to find the umbrella's"...ah, there they are, right next to the condoms. Well that makes sense...okay, off to the Sibley library....ah ha...right to the help desk

Me (to help desk person): Do you have Nexis Lexis here?
HDP: hmmm...I think so... probably downstairs.
Me: thanks!

Me (internal dialogue): great, now how the hell do I get downstairs... ah, stairs.....okay, computers... LEO?!... wtf?!....help desk, help desk, help desk....

Me (to help desk person): Do you have Nexis Lexis here?
HDP: ??
Me: Nexis Lexis...it's just a business search engine.
HDP: ummmmm
Me: !?
HDP: ummm... I'm not sure....
Me: you're not sure? but you're the help desk.
HDP: yeah, i just started.... so I'm not sure.
Me (internally): no, you're not sure because you are 12 years old! where's the old lady with glasses that knows every answer to every question that ever existed! This is the NY city library for christ sake, not some High School Library.... ugh! .... calm down sara, take a deep breath...don't be a crazy person.
Me (externally): okay...thanks

Me (internally): okay, i'm just going to sit here at this computer and figure it out myself.... search engine not working?...wtf....okay, i'll try this one... not available?.... back to help desk

Me (to help desk kid again): are you sure about the whole Nexis Lexis thing? Is there anyone you can ask? I think there might be something wrong with the computers...
HDK: yeah, well, you may not be able to find anything anyways because all of our search engines are down.
Me (internally): of course they are you stupid peice of -------....calm down....
Me (externally): oh, i see... why didn't you tell me that the first time I came up here?
HDK: i wasn't sure what exactly you were looking for.
Me: ??...ok, well, thank you for your time.


Me (internally): ...great...that was a complete waste of time.... at least i bought an umbrella...wait, how do I get out of here.... crap, it's another f'd up IQ test....wait, i got down here so I have to be able to get up.... this is why i need to pay attention to what i do.... is this the exit??..... whoa!, no, that's the men's bathroom!
Me (externally): sorry... i...uh... just... uh...sorry
Me (internally): crap, i can't believe that I thought the men's bathroom was an exit!.... how do i get out of here?... should i ask the kid at the help desk.... maybe i should just take these stairs...they are the only stairs that aren't blocked off... ah, i see street... good.... phew.... ok, not going back there again any time soon....


Back at office....
Patty: how'd it go?
Me: I'll tell you later....