Back from the Dead

So I have returned from my hiatus with my new, old nose. I can't really breathe yet, but I'm sure when I can it will be very exciting. I was initially concerned for my first week of recovery that not only would I never be able to flare my nostrils again, but since I couldn't come up with anything witty to say that somehow when Dr. L was rebreaking my nose, she had done damage to my brain. But as time has gone by I have discovered that all is right with my face and brain... well, at least, everything is as it was before....phew.

Being on bed rest for 7-10 days sucks....I can't even say that I sat around and ruminated (that's for you Elissa) about anything because I spent the better part of the time in a drug induced coma, but here are some things I thought about and updates since my recovery....

Why is Rosie so scary happy on The View? She was really freaking me out when the ladies would discuss their "hot topics"...she would be smiling and giggling but yelling at the women at the same time. I mean, it's not a good sign when your viewers are extremely uncomfortable and they are sitting on their couches in the comfort and safety of their own homes.

Never call the plumber when you are home sick. Ever.... Sarah and I had the brilliant idea of having the plumber come in and fix a little leak in our bathroom sink two days after my surgery. We figured, since I was already home, why not?.....3 hours and a whole lot of banging, "I'm sorry Sara I have just one more question", and "$hits" later our bathroom sink was in the hallway and I was on the verge of tears.... very bad idea.

My office sent me a 15 pound giant margarita glass filled with flowers after my surgery. When I am back on my feet again and 100% I fully intend to have a margarita party and that will be my glass.

Why is it when you feel like crap and you are completely out of commission that your life goes to $hit? While I was on my "my face feels like it's been beaten with a hammer" retreat, 5 of my friends were going through pretty major mid-twenties life crap. I felt really bad too because I had a difficult time focusing on anything for longer than 30 seconds and I wasn't really supposed to be talking...so all I could do is just moan at them on the phone... I don't think I was helpful. Also, someone in Turkey got a hold of my debit card info and stole thousands of dollars from me. Now I have to sign an affidavit and my entire financial life is under investigation by the gov't. Not that I have any financial life to investigate...let me save the gov't some time....I'm 26, I'm poor...some man just stole my money...give it back. I've probably been funding terrorists, from my couch in Brooklyn, while doped up on Codeine. Fabulous.

No matter how hard you try you can not look attractive after having nose surgery, you're black and blue, swollen from the IV's and have bandages all over your face. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also came down with a nasty cold 2 days after my surgery. Talk about mass producing all kinds of crazy $hit. Everyday Karl came home from work and took care of me in my basketcase state.... so drugged up that I couldn't even bother to brush my hair. Fortunately I was so heavily medicated at the time that I didn't realize just how awful I looked. But I made Karl and my mother take pictures of me so that I could document it properly. People, I looked awful. I'm going to keep a picture in my purse where ever I go so the next time I'm blasted out of my mind and want to ride something mechanical or otherwise I can pull it out and look at it and manage to "just say no".... I'll let you know how it goes.....

My friend Chris had is movie premier party for his short film 'Humongous' 5 days after my surgery. When I showed up; make up applied, dress on, looking like a human being he yelled at me for taking all of the bandages and packing off of my face for his party. He wanted me to show up as a messed up Joan Rivers. He said I always let him down and then he walked away. Sorry Chris.

My boyfriend's best friend informed me last week that I am going to audition with him and his brother for the Amazing Race. It's going to be team Lacy/Farkas. This should be interesting seeing as Rick does not get up before 11am and can't go anywhere or do anything without a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee or alcohol depending on the time of day. Not to mention, I don't think he's ever even seen an episode of the Amazing Race.....

Yesterday I went to brunch with Sarah and Helen....we drank mimosa's and talked trash about various people (won't mention any ex's names...) and things. We had so much fun that we bought some peach juice and champagne and continued our conversation back at the apartment. Ah, a toast to the crazy ex's.... thanks for for losing your minds and acting like complete rejects thus giving us plenty of material to laugh about. (clink)

Speaking of ex's.... My boyfriends ex recently friended him on myspace. The friend request was sent with a nice email that said his girlfriend (that would be me) is pretty. I smiled and couldn't even look at him when he told me that. When he asked me why I was basically laughing I told him it was because I thought that that was extremely gracious of her. She may not even have meant it, behind my back she may make fun of my big Irish teeth....but she said it to him and I thought that that was extremely gracious and kind. I laughed because when I broke up with my ex -boyfriend, he wanted to "stay friends". This to me means, that we are friends (and friends only) and we will date (and possibly seriously date) other people. I apparently was very mistaken. When I told my ex that I was dating Karl he immediately stopped talking to me, then proceeded to go onto my myspace page and delete all of the comments he had posted on my page. About a month later he deleted my friends that were on his myspace friends list...and about a week ago he randomly deleted me and made his page private which I thought was hysterical because we hadn't even spoken (no emails, phone calls, etc.) in months.....So I laughed when Karl told me about his ex because the difference in behaviors was more than ironic to me.